How much time does it take for a woman to process the raw version of the man she gets to live with, into something that she can actually live with?????
A LOT! And it requires a lot of patience too.
what battles should you lose?
every woman has to decide that for herself.
I lost on dirty laundry everywhere, snoring (modern medicine still has to work a lot on that), recycling socks (no matter how many pairs you buy for him), destroying your hard work in ironing his shirts for hours...
Let's not even consider him preferring to eat baby food instead of your perfectly well cooked meal. Or he just eats your half of the left-overs leaving you to eat old stale bread with nothing on it.
And after all that, you still worry when he doesn't get home on time, you worry he got hit by a truck on the street, or fell while going running around the hood on frozen paths. In the end he gets a cold and you have to nurse him.
But he still refuses to dress a bit warmer!!!
Still the show goes on!!!
p.s. and he always overheats everything he puts inside the microwave - couldn't be bothered to set the time right! The result is that he is always running into the kitchen screaming "oh, shit" , and cleaning the microwave splashed with whatever is left of the food he has put inside. the latest addition is heating up the beer!!! Coz it's cold outside!
and they say women are insane...
The human condition...or simply his reply:
Now I've ruffled her feathers, haven't I... The following is a list of bones of contention that the missus is at odds with plus some that make her sing (sorry for the painful mixed metaphors...)
I've put them down just to remind myself. So here goes...:
- I use the kitchen towels (the rolls!) as snot rags instead of the kleenexes
- I dry myself with her towel and leave it damp
- I change the bed sheet and not the covers (because of an incongruity in their rates of depreciation)
- I hang up the laundry with some corners touching the balcony floor that's caked in a layer of construction dust from the nearby building site
- I leave odds and ends, such as condom boxes, lying around everywhere
- I dilute the shower gel with water just to extend it a bit (you know to save a bit of hard-slogged dosh)
Are these reasons for divorce?
The average male will wail and be reduced to a sniveling bundle of misery during a common cold. Why?
Well, women of this world - simply because we men were always used to going out and hunting. A sniveling nose threw a spanner into the works and we were forced to remain in the cave in a furry sack moaning about the fact we couldn't go out and play. Bad scene...
Anyway, I've come all this hunting and gathering way... Made 7th in an Olympic triathlon, 20th in the London City marathon (but never made it to the Hawaiian homo ironicus...)
Life is taking its toll. Wear and tear is depreciating the 'ol means of transport...if you get what I mean... 
But I've full faith in our creation and the design the Great Clockmaker has given us. It was the Homo Neanderthalensis that had an average of 200 fractured bones in his body. Poor fella, didn't come upon the idea that you should kill a Stegosaurus before jumping on its back and beating it with a club. Like some business partners I know...
We've supposedly learned from his mistakes.
Perhaps it was his lack of a good sense of humour that was his downfall...
Meanwhile, over on the other side of the mountain, Homo Sapiens was jumping and dancing around the fire knowing how to tell a good joke. It was meant to attract the prettiest female. And it did... Natural selection.
Today, it's the Armani Jacket. Or the pecs and deltoids, the Ferrari...
Such a nice thing, evolution and Darwinism... Adaptation is the key...
Veni Vidi Vici...
The dinnie-poos and a slice of life
Ohhhhh, I'm utterly stuffed! Just been fed and feel like I've received a culinary low-blow into the stomach pit...one of those below the belt...broccoli, potatoes and white cornflour sauce with lovely tender slices of almost bloody veal steaks... So I says to her: "this is great! A meal fit for a king." And she replies: "You said the same thing when we were at the Maccie the other day. I'll never be able to believe you ever again..." "Why? Look at the expression of ecstasy on me face. Pure love! If your cute backside was a Chinese restaurant, I'd have the poo-poo platter!" "Stop quoting that racist and sexist band! And stop always blogging - it's nothing but a pussy-collector!" "A wha...?" "Yea, I know why you're constantly blogging. Now go and do the dishes, will ye..." "Em...rightio then..."
White Van Man
Hurry up! The white van man's outside
Gesticulating heavily through his windscreen
Talking to him is like drawing blood from a stone
And yet our mutual intelligibility is awe-inspiring.
He was born into the boiler room of the world
And quickly had to think out of the box or die
Becoming an anchor of society he knows the ropes
Knows the Balanceakt between total and utter contempt
and hit and run.
They run you down you tell me
Steal the eyes from your head
Com'on, get a move on
We can't keep him waiting.
Let's fight to bring literariness back to blogs
I invite all to join in and contribute to our fight. Post your verbal hallucinations here...
What's the scene jellybean?
So here I go blogging away. Everybody's doing it (and I mean e-v-e-r-y-f-u-c-k-i-n-g-b-o-d-y!) So why shouldn't I?
But seriously, 99% of the stuff out there is nothing but a waste of Petabytes, or self-help therapy...(Gee, I'm feeling better already with every character I type...)
What do we intend with our blogs? Most blogs take the form of diaries although these were always meant to be private and personal - not for others to read.
What messages do people want to get across and what are their rationales? What is mine, you might ask... Dunno, to tell you the truth. So, is blogging, as such, fundamentally flawed?
Whatever you read, the key to getting into the (dirty) minds of most bloggers is to understand their predicaments; understand their relationships with mum, dad, et al, around them in their small existences and universes... Most classical literature requires this too. But very few blogs carry the predicate of literariness. Quite the opposite really...
